Black American Princesses and the eternal quest for Happily Ever After
When my daughter was a toddler I would take her to the Disney store and watch in amusement as she ooohed and aahhhed over the many Disney princess models on display. Out of Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle from Beauty and the Beast, and Arielle from The Little Mermaid, I think Arielle was her favorite. Elegant ball gowns, perfectly coiffed hair-do's, glass slippers, porcelain skin and a perfectly irresistible ruby pout seemed to be common threads weaving all the stories into one big societal fable. These fables did more than just entertain little girls and their families; they cleverly relayed a step-by-step instruction guide to becoming a modern day princess.
Step one, there must be some woe-begone foundation from which drama can bloom. Step two said young lady must be society's example of beautiful; which exclusively included: large eyes, long lashes, an oval shaped face with high cheekbones, cascading blonde, red or brunette(in that order) locks, a pert button nose and small pointed chin. Third, said young lady must act coy and demure for an unspecified length of time before falling madly in love with a pre-designated Prince Charming.
Switch to 2004 and I am sitting in front of my television watching a program on one of the music video channels after banishing my young princess in training from the room. A member of hip hop royalty and his royal court were perusing a group of beauties wishing to be chosen as spokesmodel for a new clothing line. Hundreds of butterscotch, caramel and chocolate colored beauties lined up around the block in each of three major cities, all vying for the opportunity to be crowned temporary Princess for a modern day Prince Charming. In this modern day urban kingdom, porcelain skin was notably thrown out, as were the button nose, small chin and any young lady even acting remotely demure or coy was banished by security. The ancient fairytale physical characteristics were replaced by a shapely derriere and full breasts, while a ladylike presence was traded for a brazen willingness to parade half-naked in front of a panel of mostly male judges, shaking and gyrating the precious curves on display. Instead of forcing an ill-shaped foot into a dainty slipper, the young ladies turned their backsides to the panel and prayed that their derriere was a perfect fit to fill out a tight pair of blue jeans or hip-hugging pair of sweat pants.
"We don't like good girls," one of the judges laughingly told a group of hopeful young ladies. Scoffing at the very idea, the young girls began to dance provocatively while quoting unapologetically anti-feminist rap lyrics. I shook my head in amazement. What happened to the ideological young Princess' pursuit of happily ever after? Or was what I was witnessing Happily ever after for Black American Princesses in the year 2004?
Most conscientious black parents are aware of the music videos and constant messages overtly attacking our daughters. My position has been to protect my daughter from these images in efforts to halt any pre-disposition she may have of one day sidling up to a male celebrity clad in a thong bikini in a music video. It occurred to me that of all the girls choosing to participate in such activities; surely some of them come from conscientious black families as well. I am not so narrow-minded and presumptuous to think that I am the only mother who dreams of raising a strong, independent yet loving black woman with self-respect and dignity. A daughter who would turn on her heel at the first instruction to "Turn around and let us see what you're working with."
Besides the possibility of responsible parents, these girls’ roots stem back to proud communities and churches allover America. It is not likely that not a single one of the young ladies, "shakin' what their mama gave them" had the benefit of a spiritual background, loving mentor, and a counselor or family member that had more substantial hopes for the young lady in question. So I asked myself, how did we come to this? Has this become our modern day Black American Princess; a young lady who has the physical characteristics that are sure to get the brotha's droolin'? Is the contemporary urban answer to Prince Charming, the thug baller that the young beauties are vying for. Has 'happily ever after' been replaced by the length of a rap song or a few minutes of being appreciated for physical attributes alone.
The parallels between the Disney stories and the video showdown of the "Bootylicious" babe figure, is of course the admiration of men. Be it Prince Charming, or the rapper with the most bling bling, society's testament to the beauty of a young lady is the ability to capture attention of the opposite sex.
At the core of our stories, new and old we are teaching young girls that their self-worth and value, the very thing that determines if they are special, is the ability to capture the affection of a much sought after Prince. In this case Disney is just as guilty as the rap music videos that depict hordes of scantily clad, albeit beautiful young women draped across the chest of these modern day Prince Charming's. Does being a princess always go hand in hand with having a Prince?
Haven't we as women in the twenty first century progressed enough to know that having the admiration of a man is not a reliable gauge as to how beautiful, intelligent or valuable we are? Although I consider myself a progressive modern day woman, I must admit I get mushy at the sight of a new bride having her veil lifted by an eagerly awaiting groom. I also have been known to enjoy a good, "girl meets guy movie", but I am old enough to separate the ideological truth from social fable. I worry that many of our young women are not. I propose to the young women of today in search of eternal happiness, success and their own Prince Charming, to define their own characteristics of a Princess and strive to become the embodiment of those dreams and aspirations. Life must consist of more than the fleeting admiration of a man, and Happily Ever after must begin with respect, acceptance and finally pride in oneself.
Step one, there must be some woe-begone foundation from which drama can bloom. Step two said young lady must be society's example of beautiful; which exclusively included: large eyes, long lashes, an oval shaped face with high cheekbones, cascading blonde, red or brunette(in that order) locks, a pert button nose and small pointed chin. Third, said young lady must act coy and demure for an unspecified length of time before falling madly in love with a pre-designated Prince Charming.
Switch to 2004 and I am sitting in front of my television watching a program on one of the music video channels after banishing my young princess in training from the room. A member of hip hop royalty and his royal court were perusing a group of beauties wishing to be chosen as spokesmodel for a new clothing line. Hundreds of butterscotch, caramel and chocolate colored beauties lined up around the block in each of three major cities, all vying for the opportunity to be crowned temporary Princess for a modern day Prince Charming. In this modern day urban kingdom, porcelain skin was notably thrown out, as were the button nose, small chin and any young lady even acting remotely demure or coy was banished by security. The ancient fairytale physical characteristics were replaced by a shapely derriere and full breasts, while a ladylike presence was traded for a brazen willingness to parade half-naked in front of a panel of mostly male judges, shaking and gyrating the precious curves on display. Instead of forcing an ill-shaped foot into a dainty slipper, the young ladies turned their backsides to the panel and prayed that their derriere was a perfect fit to fill out a tight pair of blue jeans or hip-hugging pair of sweat pants.
"We don't like good girls," one of the judges laughingly told a group of hopeful young ladies. Scoffing at the very idea, the young girls began to dance provocatively while quoting unapologetically anti-feminist rap lyrics. I shook my head in amazement. What happened to the ideological young Princess' pursuit of happily ever after? Or was what I was witnessing Happily ever after for Black American Princesses in the year 2004?
Most conscientious black parents are aware of the music videos and constant messages overtly attacking our daughters. My position has been to protect my daughter from these images in efforts to halt any pre-disposition she may have of one day sidling up to a male celebrity clad in a thong bikini in a music video. It occurred to me that of all the girls choosing to participate in such activities; surely some of them come from conscientious black families as well. I am not so narrow-minded and presumptuous to think that I am the only mother who dreams of raising a strong, independent yet loving black woman with self-respect and dignity. A daughter who would turn on her heel at the first instruction to "Turn around and let us see what you're working with."
Besides the possibility of responsible parents, these girls’ roots stem back to proud communities and churches allover America. It is not likely that not a single one of the young ladies, "shakin' what their mama gave them" had the benefit of a spiritual background, loving mentor, and a counselor or family member that had more substantial hopes for the young lady in question. So I asked myself, how did we come to this? Has this become our modern day Black American Princess; a young lady who has the physical characteristics that are sure to get the brotha's droolin'? Is the contemporary urban answer to Prince Charming, the thug baller that the young beauties are vying for. Has 'happily ever after' been replaced by the length of a rap song or a few minutes of being appreciated for physical attributes alone.
The parallels between the Disney stories and the video showdown of the "Bootylicious" babe figure, is of course the admiration of men. Be it Prince Charming, or the rapper with the most bling bling, society's testament to the beauty of a young lady is the ability to capture attention of the opposite sex.
At the core of our stories, new and old we are teaching young girls that their self-worth and value, the very thing that determines if they are special, is the ability to capture the affection of a much sought after Prince. In this case Disney is just as guilty as the rap music videos that depict hordes of scantily clad, albeit beautiful young women draped across the chest of these modern day Prince Charming's. Does being a princess always go hand in hand with having a Prince?
Haven't we as women in the twenty first century progressed enough to know that having the admiration of a man is not a reliable gauge as to how beautiful, intelligent or valuable we are? Although I consider myself a progressive modern day woman, I must admit I get mushy at the sight of a new bride having her veil lifted by an eagerly awaiting groom. I also have been known to enjoy a good, "girl meets guy movie", but I am old enough to separate the ideological truth from social fable. I worry that many of our young women are not. I propose to the young women of today in search of eternal happiness, success and their own Prince Charming, to define their own characteristics of a Princess and strive to become the embodiment of those dreams and aspirations. Life must consist of more than the fleeting admiration of a man, and Happily Ever after must begin with respect, acceptance and finally pride in oneself.
posted by Christal Jordan-Mims | 4:28 PM
1 Comments:
to long have we been supressed with we aren't good enough. Preach it sistah, cause if you don't say it no one will.
Great blog and congrats on your writing success. Your RSW, Sylvia Hubbard
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